Wednesday, December 1

november has been a rather rough+tough month.

how do i make that deduction? i look down at my nails and i know. i de-stress by
peeling my nails. i don't cut them you see. i simply peel. this simple activity
alone is fast, mobile, free, and after a little while, i feel safe and calmer like
a child being offered candy. but the end result - ten nails in an absolute state of
distress you bet. i can only pray that the nails will growgrowgrow fast enough so
that i can drop by the nail place again for a full, nice, welcoming mani service. if
this very bad habit continues, i will have to consider the last resort of plastering
all my fingers. now, that would be quite a sight/

the thing is, the smallest issues that i used to brush aside got to me so badly this
time. it's official, i have morphed into that drama queen/ psycho girlfriend that you
point to the big screen and laugh at. i am the girl that stray cats scramble away
from when they spot me from afar, and the girl whom cockroaches chase after and
made them run in circles helplessly. it had gotten so bad that i believe the general
mood affected my whole internal system. it is not a proud affair to announce that my
tear ducts have seemed to run loose. maybe it's the dry eyes, or lack of oxygen due
to the over-overtime. but still... nobody wants to be close to an emo, bitchy,
hostile girl/friend/girlfriend who snaps at every other thing and overreacts to the
minor things that used to be funny.

i need to say this again, like how i always do.
i need to get a grip of myself!

having said that, i know that this ain't no excuse for one too many beers this week
but they seemed to help. the credit of course still goes to the various company that
helped. the girlfriends who never failed to effortlessly and generously dish out the
girly advice fit for the latest glossy. i wish i don't rant too much but if i don't,
the next thing to go may be more than my nails. also, not forgetting the cookie who
so faithfully and patiently put up with the tantrums to put that smile back although
i selfishly and unwillingly shut him out. sometimes a x/o/xo will suffice if he does
understand. "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures
through every circumstance." i never will, and all i can say is that i hope and pray
it is the same for him.

enough of all the emomomo nonsense because it is the BNWT (Brand New Without
Troubles) month! deeecember!, which automatically spells festive and christmas. this
is my favourite month because it is a beginning and end at the same time (libra like
balance what). the exciting anticipation of the start of a new month and also being
part of all the giving+receiving really chokes me with so much happiness that even
as i send my daily work report and marking today's date makes me so much smiley.
and then, dec also signifies the drawing end of the year. another year you may say,
but whether you make the last shot a full-stop or exclamation mark is partly at the
mercy of this last thirtyone days too! so go all out and make it a !!!!


why is there no x'mas shopping bonus/ allowance? maybe that will bring some cheer.

they don't call it retail therapy for nothing you know right?

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